March Eighth. Your fourth birthday in the stars. It was another cold, windy day surrounded by days of sun and warmth… like it has been every birthday so far. I wondered aloud and in my mind, several times, why your birthday is never sunny with blue skies… but we celebrated as we always do with a balloon full of messages just for you!
How is it possible that four years have passed? Four years that were at times agonizing. Four years that also brought us so much joy, perspective, and growth. It feels as though we blinked and here we are. We blinked and suddenly we have you in the stars and two babies here on earth…
But my heart knows better. My heart knows we didn’t just blink. We lived a lot of life in these four years. My heart has spent four years loving you. Four years grieving you. Four years finding little ways to weave you into our life and create space for you within our growing family. For four whole years you have been on my mind and in my heart… never far from every thought, every question, every hope, every dream, and every experience. You have been there for four whole years. You are my purpose and my guiding energy as I move through time without you.
This year your balloon contained one more message. A special message from your baby sister, Olivia. And your brother was able to tell you he loved you before we sent the balloon to you- a string of words he did not have just one year prior. “I wud you Amelia” spoken directly at my phone recording the entire event. And although they are both too young to fully understand, my heart knows how fast time passes. I know that time truly flies and soon enough they will come to understand who you are and why we celebrate you every year on March 8th.
I love that they will know you and write their messages each year on your birthday. What a joy it will be to see the messages evolve with time as they grow. Starting as handprints and scribbles and turning into their own written thoughts and wishes for you and for them. I know it will bring me joy to continue this tradition for years to come.
This year, just like the last, your balloon became stuck in that big old tree in front of the house. But this year I knew it would make its way up to you. And as I watched it wiggle free and float up, up, and away I couldn’t help but notice the familiar twinkling in my eyes that has told me time and time again that you are near. I have no doubt that you were there with us on your birthday.
We “wud you, Amelia” and love to honor and celebrate you. I am a better Mom because of you and I’m a more compassionate human because of you. And as I sit here three weeks later finishing this (because that is the busy season of life we are in) I am so excited to get started on your newest garden to once again feel close to you, care for you, and see your floral footprints through the rest of the year! Happy Birthday, our sweet angel!
My view of your garden today… with a few blossoms and a ton of potential. It’s the most grounding, wonderful time of the year for me 🤍
Amelia's Floral Footprints 